About Me - İnci Yaşar

Story of Healing

The doctor looked at me sadly and he said ‘it is MS’. ‘What is MS?’ I asked myself? I had no idea what MS was. The doctor tried to explain it, it is Multiple Sclerosis, he said. The year was 2006. Something bad it must have been otherwise the doctor would not have been in such a state. It had started with double vision. What was it mean seeing everything double? And the next one was difficulty in walking. What did they mean? The doctor in Istanbul said that I should start the treatment immediately when I get back to London, and I did not know at that time that no treatment would work, that the some of the MS drugs given had almost killed me. I had no idea that how weak and how strong I was.

They said it was helpless, there was no cure, they didn’t know what was causing it. It was sneaking inside you, your own body was attacking itself. And at that time, I did not know yet that I would be able to stop progression of this debilitating disease without using any medicine, and that I would have become a healer but first I have become my own healer.

When I returned to London, I waited for an appointment from the NHS for months. It was as if the British system made everyone pay for being a free and welfare state. While I was waiting, they kept sending me brochures about the disable centers that they thought would be very helpful. As a matter of fact, it was rather disappointment and some kind of a shock. Even 5-minute walking efforts turned into hell. It used to be fun to walk for hours, and now it was not possible. It was perhaps for the first time I was realising how little things are very precious such as walking, being able to see, use our hands. I had not appreciated them until I lost them. Every illness was indeed a teacher.

It had been 3 months and there was no news of that appointment I was waiting for from the hospital. My condition was getting worse, those pamphlets, what I had read made me worse.

I came back to Turkey to start treatment. The doctors I saw gave me three months of high-dose steroid treatment. After three months, I was walking quite well. It was incredible. Miraculous bliss. I thought I was getting better. I had got a job immediately, In two months, I had a very serious MS relapse and all over again. Hope, happy and collapse. I was going to experience the very same thing many times. Now, I was accepting that I was ill, no denial anymore. This disease was sneaking up inside me silently and I couldn’t do anything about it. It was as if something inside me was saying turn and look at me and I just couldn’t understand what was going on inside me yet.

The MS medicine given wasn’t working either. I had to quit my job. It was not possible to work anymore. I was feeling very tired all the times, totally sad and defeated. I had lost everything. My job, my health was gone and have become socially isolated. I was stuck at home. And I did what I could at home, reading books and going inwards and medidate.

Oddly enough, a part of me still wanted to get healed. I should thank that part of me it was so weak and defeated. I owe him today.

And I turned into reading books, now I started to look for a solution of the disease in books. I was reading books day and night, and one book was opening the door to another and I was starting to learn about ancient healing methods, Shamanism, Daoism, Zen, Kundalini Yoga, Qi gong, Meditation.

The disease continued to progress. I was having far too many MS relapses, it had progressed as very active form of MS. The British health system had now made this diagnosis based on MRIs. The MS medicine was not working and the MS doctor suggested another medicine. It worked well for a while and then I got very ill and hospitalised. The reason of this illness was the new MS drug and it almost killed me. It took months to treat the damage caused by this side effect. And the effect of the drug which treated the side effect took months to heal as well.

Doctors said they could no longer prescribe any medication for me, including steroids. My communication with the hospital was cut off for a long time. There was only one thing to do now. I was going to try the natural and spiritual ways to heal myself. When a person comes face to face with death, another transformation has to start.

Root shamanic rituals I have performed, Reiki 1,2 3 and master teacher initiations, Kundalini Yoga practices, Meditation, Daoism lessons I have taken from the Korean/Chinese masters over the years and Ki/Qi Gong practices I have done, and Ayahuasca and Huachuma shamanic rituals I have attended many times, and the Inca Shamanic initiations/trainings and practices I have received, gradually have begun to heal me. I’ve started walking better and feeling happier and more peaceful.

And surprisingly I have received a letter from the hospital inviting me for an MRI ex ray. The result was shocking for them and myself. The disease had stopped. The staff in the hospital could not understand how this disease stopped without any medication. They did a blood test to understand. The result came out and still they could not get any idea. I didn’t expect it anyway. Because the healing methods I got involved were healing people in another dimension.

I could not tell them it is the time now to unite spiritual science with material science. But I’m telling you here, years later. The disease had stopped, but the myelin damage was still in the body and it was told that there is no cure for that either. However, I had walked in Peru as if I had never MS, totally free after my first Ayahuasca experience so I kind of knew it was possible to get healed completely Perhaps it is just the time to talk a little bit about Ayahuasca now. Ayahuasca is a plant growing in the Amazon forest. It has been used by the South American people for healing and gaining wisdom for almost for 5000 years. However, I don’t know how to explain to you the nothingness, that big emptiness she showed me, that very powerful feminine power, Her being a mother, her great love and compassion, me asking her to stay with me forever. Also, it is very hard to talk about that big fear Huachuma made me to face. Perhaps my biggest fear it was. It is also hard to admit that I couldn’t come to my senses for days. It’s also not easy to talk about the paranormal experiences I had after I got back to London. And it is even more difficult to mention the ritual death experience that the cosmic mother has showed me in my last Ayahuasca ceremony.

And in 2017, my condition went upside down again. After that night, I fell again, very badly. That night, a very strong stream of red colored energy started to rise up from my root chakra to the upper chakras. When it came to my heart, I felt an incredible amount of love. It was so big that I felt love for everyone, good and bad. There was no good or bad. And this energy was conscious, I felt it. While trying to get to the 7th chakra, it got stuck in my neck and returned to the root chakra with disappointment. After that night, I couldn’t talk, read a book, or watch a movie for a long time. I just sat quietly. There was a lot of pain. Later I read that this was Kundalini ascension. Some people had similar experiences. That experience paralyzed me for a very long time. And the MS started to get worse again, there were no new attacks but I was just not well at all.

Now I was getting slowly understand what everything meant. That mysterious night also has something to do with my sudden departure from London, where I lived for 20 years. In 2020 I returned to the land where I was born. It was as if something inside me, something very mysterious was in control, not me. In 2022 I have decided to take an advance level of training from the Peruvian shamans and then everything was clear now. The mountains and the seas of the place I was born called me to this land. I am not realising that Ayahuasca was always with me already. I had asked her to stay with me forever without knowing that she had already introduced me with my own soul. It was my own soul holding my hand in the Ayahuasca ceremony in Peru.

Finally, I was beginning to understand. It was all about love but first self-love and spreading to the whole universe. Love was compassion.

And compassion was love. First towards myself and others. I was not alone and separate from the whole existence. We all were connected to each other, we were one big family.

My feet on the mother earth, I looked at the blue sky and the blue sea and I smiled.

Everything I had done and learned so far was merging and I was healing.

İnci Yaşar
Bodrum 2022